We have icicles hanging off our eaves over our front walk. But these aren’t just icicles. They are killer-death icicles. You only have to look at them to know any moment one of those babies is going to let loose and come plunging down with skull-fracturing force. And did I mention it’s melting out? Because it is.
When I first realized the peril just outside our front door, I started plotting solutions to keep the residents of the Davis-Mossburg house safe. It turned out we were fresh out of hardhats, so that wasn’t an option. I tried to convince my husband to shovel a path across the lawn to bypass the icicle-killer-death path… but that wasn’t an option either.
And this is when things got crazy.
I started thinking about Chester and how good he was at jumping through the snow, making paths to find the perfect pooping spot. And a scheme was born. I decided Chester was just the candidate to blaze a trail through our front lawn so we could reach our cars in safety.
I snapped Chester’s leash on him, armed myself with a box of stale ‘Nilla Wafers as incentive and we set out to save the family.
Chester was pretty excited about those cookies, until I threw the first one into the snow bank. He looked at me like I was crazy. I couldn’t really blame him, since I don’t think I’d get too excited about plunging into 30 plus inches of snow, wearing nothing but a leash. However, to a Beagle, cookies are pretty exciting, so after I tossed in a couple more to sweeten the deal, he decided it was worth it.
I don’t think he ever quite figured out what I wanted of him, but as long as I kept throwing cookies into the snow, Chester kept after them. I tromped behind him, beating the path down even more, until we had a big arc, bypassing certain icicle death.
Clumping through the snow drifts, wearing my husbands big boots (one of which was leaking), holding a box of ‘Nilla Wafers in one hand and a leash in the other, I realized I had completely lost it. Completely. The snow had finally gone to my head, causing me to do the kind of ridiculous things that make the neighbors stare at you. One too many snow days had pushed me over the edge.
On the other hand, I’d rather be crazy than impaled by an icicle. So I guess I’ll embrace a little insanity, although Chester may think twice before he accepts another cookie.