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How to Be a Church Planter’s Wife

I’m the wife of a church planter. And I feel like I should talk about that a lot more than I do. Because, you know, it’s kind of unique. Like a niche, or something.

But I don’t really have anything profound to say. No great words of admonition to other church planter’s wives. No deep emotional outflow from the process of starting a new church. It’s just our life. It’s normal.

I mean, the past year and a half of this process have been crazy. There are stories, for sure. Amazing times and hard times. And the faithfulness of the Lord threaded through it all. But that would be true, no matter what we were doing in life.

Sometimes, I think we can make too much of the seasons in our lives and the roles we are currently playing. We get all melodramatic about the “challenges” and whatnot. When really, it all comes down to serving Jesus in what He’s called us to do.

I love my husband and I raise my kids. I spend time with ladies in our church and our city. I participate in Bible studies. I interact graciously with people in the community. I pray for my husband, my friends and my city. I do admin stuff for the church. I open up my home once a week for church gatherings. That’s the kind of the stuff I’m called to do right now.

Some of it will change soon, because we’re about to launch a new venue for Destiny Church. But most of what I’m doing would remain the same, even if we weren’t in ministry at all. Just because I’m a Christian.

So what is it like being a church planter’s wife? It’s like being any follower of Christ. I take the opportunities I’m given and use them to advance the Kingdom of God. Just like you do.

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Thank Goodness It’s Good Friday

I have strict holiday rules.

I mean, I’m not some Martha Stewart-esque holiday girl. But there are certain things that are just important to me.

For example, no one plays Christmas music in my house until the Day After Thanksgiving or I will hurt them. All members of my family must wear appropriate festive clothing for anything Christmas related, such as seeing Santa, baking Christmas cookies or setting up the Tree (except my husband, because I can’t tell him what to wear). We do not open ANY Christmas presents until Christmas morning. Not even if my husband tries to melt me with pleading looks. (OK, I’ve caved on that one, but I’m not proud of it.)

It’s not just at Christmas. Easter has its fair share of important things. Children in my house must be dressed up. Floral for girls, ties for boys, etc. And pictures will be taken. Many, many pictures; before church, so that nothing gets spilled or smeared on Easter finery. And they’d better not even think about taking off those Easter clothes until after any potential Easter egg hunts.

And then there’s Good Friday.

I’m very particular about Good Friday weather. I don’t appreciate sunny Good Fridays. No, Good Friday should be rainy, foggy or at the very least, cloudy. And people should wear black. All black, preferably.

In all seriousness about Good Friday (not that I was joking before), I really do feel that there is an epic solemnness about this day that should be observed.

I grew up in the Charismatic church culture, where Good Friday was kind of passed over as a dreary inconvenience. At least that was my impression as a child. Maybe I’m wrong and everybody LOVED it. I don’t know.

But typically, all we did to “celebrate” was a prayer meeting over the lunch hour. And then, when I got immersed in the “revival culture” (if you don’t know what that is, you can message me and ask… or something), Friday night services were already the norm, so we pretty much did business as usual on Good Friday. And honestly, many churches don’t have any type of Good Friday gathering.

And I just don’t get that.

Good Friday is one of the most important days in the whole Christian calendar. I mean, we do realize that without Good Friday, there is no Easter, right? Without Good Friday, there’s no lily filled sanctuaries, no Sun-Rise Services, no chocolate bunnies, no egg hunts, no forgiveness of sins.

Without Good Friday, our whole faith ship is sunk. So why don’t we celebrate it? It seems like it would be normal to embrace the wild wonder of a Life sacrificed, revel in the mournful awe of Holy death, embrace the momentary gloom that will be replaced with resurrection splendor. Is it really so inconvenient to halt our normal routine and reflect on the fact that Jesus died so that we can live?

So I’m so excited (in a calm and mournful way, of course) for Destiny Church’s Good Friday Vigil.

We’re going to have a candle-light gathering in our living room, where we’ll sing about the beautiful cross, meditate on Jesus’ great sacrifice, share Communion and embrace the deep darkness that preceded the light.

And yes, a couple of kids will probably have a jumping contest in the playroom immediately above our vigil or wander through making car noises. But you know? I don’t care. I’m going to fully delight in Good Friday. You can count on it.

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Louisville, How’d We Get Here?

We’ve moved to Louisville, KY to plant a church. If that’s news to you, it might be a good idea to start with reading a couple of blog entries back.

So why did we decide to start a church in Louisville?

The Lord pretty much threw church planting in our faces until we got what He was trying to tell us. He wasn’t quite as forthright about location, but one thing He did make clear to our hearts was that our next season of ministry needed to be birthed out of relationship.

One relationship specifically seemed to have a lot of grace on it and that was with a church called Covenant Community Fellowship in Indiana, just outside of Louisville. CCF was planted a little over two years ago by a friend of ours from Bible college and they have a vision to assist with planting more churches in their region.

The Lord also spoke to our hearts via another church planting pastor, who told us to plant somewhere we would be culturally comfortable. Chris was raised in Arkansas (about as South as you can get) and I was raised in WI (about as North as you can get), so what was culturally comfortable for us was a little vague. We figured our best bet would be somewhere right between the two.

When we looked Louisville up in Wikipedia, it said this:

Louisville is influenced by both Southern and Midwestern culture. It is sometimes referred to as either the northernmost Southern city or the southernmost Northern city in the United States.

We saw relationship and region coming together and the more we looked into Louisville, the more life we felt on it as the location we were being called to.

As our hearts grew toward Louisville, I researched specific neighborhoods to see if anything jumped out. One in particular caught my eye, called the Highlands. It embodied elements that had always held a lot of attraction for Chris and I and seemed like it had the kind of vibe we were looking for.

First chance we got, we took a trip down to Louisville to see the city for ourselves. When we arrived, we immediately stopped at a coffee shop downtown to take advantage of wi-fi an get our bearings.

When we ordered, the barista asked us what we were doing in Louisville. We replied that we were just checking out the city and he immediately said, “You need to go to the Highlands.” He proceeded to tell us more about the Highlands, but offered no other suggestions for exploring Louisville. Just the Highlands.

When we drove into the neighborhood we instantly fell in love. There was a kind of chaotic excitement in the air. Not completely a good excitement, but it was compelling and gripped our hearts more than any other area of the city.

And now we’re here, right in the heart of the Highlands. We are discovering that the way we felt when we first visited the neighborhood was more accurate than we realized. There is an excitement in the air that isn’t necessarily all good. And we can’t help but love it here.

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Louisville, We Are Here!

This is a quick and crazy, thrown together blog to update everyone on our arrival in Louisville, with special thanks to Starbucks and their internet. And if you are wondering what we’re even doing in Louisville, check out launchdestiny.com.

The drive from Pittsburgh to Louisville was uneventful, which is a good thing, because the moving in part wasn’t exactly easy-peasy.

I was all excited to see my new house for the first time! Only problem was our keys wouldn’t open the lock… something to do with new keys and an old lock. To save the day, Chris and Phillip (Chris’ brother) climbed on top of the fence, Chris climbed on top of Phillip and then he climbed onto our neighbor’s porch roof and into our apartment window. So that problem was solved with no loss of life (although I am going to have to mend Chris’ shorts).

Then the movers we’d hired through U-Haul showed up 2 hours late. Which wasn’t really helpful of them, but we were glad they came at all, since Chris and Phillip were not enjoying unpacking the whole truck by themselves.

Now, here’s where the loss of (furniture) life comes in… Our apartment is on the second floor, in an old, old house. Think twisty stairs and narrow doors. And then think big, fat couches. Yeah.

The movers BARELY succeeded in getting our love seat up and refused to even try the couch (whimps). I was tired, and in full-fledged post-moving blues, so I was not a happy camper. Not to mention that our apartment was kind of on the filthy side. So being told I was not going to have a couch did not fill me with joy and joyness.

My husband likes to have me happy, so he agreed to try again today. Phillip, Chris and I used our best maneuvering skills. But standing at the top of the stairs, holding the full weight of a large couch that refused to turn a corner, even I was willing to admit that it MIGHT not fit. I was pretty disgruntled, but then I had the idea that a couple of overstuffed type chairs might look pretty cool in my new living room. And suddenly I felt better. Chris assured me that he would procure whatever I needed and that we would not be forced to sit on the floor for our entire stay in our new place.

So if you live in Louisville, keep your eye on Craigslist for the add for an amazing dark sage couch. Because you know you want to buy it!

Setting aside all the above mentioned trauma, I am pretty sure I love it here! I love how the neighborhood feels. I will love my apartment when it is clean. I love the things the Lord is speaking to my heart. This is going to be so good!

And the highlight of my day? Unpacking a box of dishes and finding a love note from Pittsburgh friends, written on a paper plate. And as I type that, my eyes are not tearing up in Starbucks. Not too much anyway.

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Why Church Planting?

A few days ago, I blogged about how our family is moving to Louisville, KY to start a church. (Read about that here) So I wanted to share how the Lord brought us to the decision to become church planters.

Probably a year before “everything began,” Chris commented that he thought starting a church from scratch was cool, because you were able to establish the vision that God was giving you from the very foundation. My retort was that it wasn’t that cool because church planters don’t get paid. There’s some faith for you!

You know that feeling when you go downstairs to do something, but when you get there you can’t remember what you were going to do? Or when you’re taking a test and you KNOW you know the answer, but it’s just at the tip of your brain and you can’t quite grab it? A little over a year ago, Chris and I started to get that kind of feeling. An “I know something is up, but I don’t know what it is,” kind of feeling.

Pretty much the only way to get to the bottom of a feeling like that is to seek the Lord. So that’s what we did. We prayed a lot, talked with mentors, fasted and all that good stuff. We came to a couple conclusions. The Lord was preparing us to move and it needed to come through relationship.

And we talked about starting a church. A lot.

We tried to look at options other than church planting, but when we did it felt like walking through Jello. It felt like death. But when Chris and I dreamed together about starting a church, it felt like our hearts came alive. Suddenly I didn’t care about getting paid (who really needs to eat, anyway?). All I wanted to do was church plant. I wanted it so bad it surprised even me!

Even though we really WANTED to be church planters, we didn’t just go on that. We kept praying, kept trying other options, kept asking the Lord for clear direction. The Lord spoke to us through a lot of different means: in our hearts, through the Word, through other people. But church planting is big step, so we kept weighing things and seeking clearer direction.

One day Chris just laid it out before the Lord and said, “Jesus, I need to know TODAY if you’re wanting us to plant a church or do something else.” That day he got a text before breakfast, had a conversation over lunch, and got an email after dinner: 3 different people, who had no idea what we were weighing, suggested that we plant a church.

You’d think that would have been enough evidence, but a few weeks went by and it didn’t seem like any details were coming together, so we kind of laid the church planting idea aside. One night Chris was gone and I was really discouraged, wanting an answer from the Lord. I basically spent the whole evening saying, “Holy Spirit, please show us what you want us to do.” That same night, one of our teachers from Bible School messaged Chris, saying, “If I were you, I’d plant a church.”

When we read that message, all our hopes and dream for church planting flooded back into our hearts! For us, that was the clincher, where we could say, “OK, Jesus. You don’t need to tell us again. We’ve got it and we’re going for it!”

Once we were set on starting a church, we needed to discover where and how. And that’s another blog for another day.

In the mean time, check out our site about our church planting plans: http://launchdestiny.com

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This is an official announcement…

So we’re moving to Louisville, Kentucky. To plant a church.

OH MY GOODNESS!

In a couple of weeks all the stuff belonging to the Davis family will be on a U-Haul headed to Louisville. This is something the Lord has been filling our hearts with for over a year, and suddenly it’s actually happening! And we couldn’t be more excited.

There is a neighborhood in Louisville that we’ve absolutely fallen in love with. It’s called the Highlands and we like it so much, we’re moving right into the heart of it. It’s full of ethnic restaurants, skate shops, boutiques, coffee shops, tattoo parlors, old homes, and lots of arty goodness.

And eventually the Highlands will be full of Destiny Church!

While we’re living in the Highlands, building relationships and growing our core group, we’ll also be hanging out at a great church just outside the city, Covenant Community Fellowship. They’re a two-year-old church plant, so we’re super blessed to have them showing us the ropes.

Chris and I are so thrilled that Jesus has let us be a part of this amazing adventure!  He’s been guiding our steps every inch of this journey so far and we can’t wait to see what the future holds.

Want to find out more about what we’re doing and how you can help? Check out http://launchdestiny.com.

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