I typically try to avoid change. But then it happens, and it’s not so bad. I adjust.
The thought of having two babies made me a bit stressed. But the actual doing of it has been OK. I mean, I just keep making bottles and changing diapers and giving baths and ignoring house work.
And I don’t think about it too much. I rarely remember about how easy it was to leave the house. Or how I used to sleep all night. Or how, a couple of years ago, it was quiet during the day.
Except every once in a while, when something shines a spotlight on our reality.
The other day we were watching Jessie with the kids.
If you’re wise and have protected your brain from the Disney Channel, I’ll explain: Jessie is the nanny for a multiracial family (you can see what sucked us in!) with a bunch of kids. Their home seems pretty chaotic, with over-the-top antics and ridiculous dilemmas every show.
As we watched, I realized something. To us, their family feels pretty crazy, with kids everywhere. They have four kids.
WE HAVE FOUR KIDS.
I pointed this out to the rest of my four-kid-family and everyone kind of paused in shock for a second. Because we saw them as this huge, chaotic family and we saw us as… OK, it can be pretty crazy around here too.
And I know we’re not the Duggars or anything. In fact, we’re small compared to many families in our adoption community.
But a lot has changed in just over a year. Sometimes it feels like survival is the only goal. But it’s worth it. It’s so, so worth it.
These little people, who have brought all the extra work, have also brought the extra joy. They’ve changed our perspective on life. They’ve pulled new levels of compassion and servanthood out of all of us. Our family wouldn’t be us without them.
The other day, I overheard Isaiah talking to Phoebe. He was “teaching” her to pray:
“First you say, ‘Thank you God.’ Then you ask Jesus to help you. Or you ask Him to help someone else. Or you can just talk about your day. You can talk to Jesus about anything.”
I’ll embrace the chaos for sweet moments like that.