San Francisco 49ers v Carolina Panthers

Fashion Triumphs: Fixing Ugly

Let me tell you about a skirt that I’d gotten at Acorn Apparel, a Louisville vintage shop. Being a cheapskate, I’d purchased it off the $5 rack. Without trying it on.

I know I should have, but ever since the kids, I’ve kind of refused to try stuff on. It’s so annoying: all the taking stuff off, and trying stuff on, and taking it off, and then putting more stuff back on… In a cramped and often dirty room. While small people whine for you to hurry up.

And I can usually tell if something will fit by looking at it. Which, I thought was the case with this particular skirt. It seemed straight-forward on the rack. But it wasn’t at all. When I got home and put it on, it looked like and ugly balloon sack that hit at the most unflattering point of my knee. There was a reason it had been $5.

I showed it to Chris, who generally tries to be nice and open-minded about what I wear. But even he had to admit it was ugly as sin.

I wasn’t done in yet. I operate on a strict, “No clothing left behind” policy. I’d paid $5 for that thing and, by Chanel, it was going to look good!

I decided to try sewing up the sides into little pleat-type bunches. That’s totally not correct terminology, but I don’t know how else to describe it. So just look at the pictures (Unfortunately, there is no before pic. You’ll have to trust me on it’s previous ugliness):


I was still kind of unsure if it was actually wearable in public, so I again showed it to Chris and asked him if it was cute. He said, “I don’t know if I’d say cute…” But he agreed that it looked way better than before. So I left the house in it.

And all the girls pronounced it cute and adorable and all that kind of stuff. So I feel like it’s a fashion win. I triumphed over ugliness AND got my 5 dollars worth.

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San Francisco 49ers v Carolina Panthers

The Ugly Sweatshirt

People often tell me they think I always look cute and put together.  That’s very sweet of them, but let me tell you the truth.  I have an ugly sweatshirt.

At one of our previous houses there was a Lands End style fleece sweatshirt left by someone who had worked on the house before we moved in.  This sweatshirt was a man’s XXL, navy blue, zip up, ugly thing.  I kicked it around for awhile, hoping the rightful owner would return to claim it.  Finally, I gave up on that hope and washed it, since I didn’t want someone’s germs in my house.  I stashed it in the back of a closet and then somehow it moved with us to Pittsburgh and got stowed away again.

The thing about Pittsburgh is that winter is very cold.  And our house is old and drafty… and very, very cold.  I whined for months about how cold I was, all the way until spring.  When the next winter rolled around I didn’t know how I was going to stand the freezing temperatures yet again, until I threw on the ugly sweatshirt and found warmth.

This thing was amazing!  It was so big I could layer multiple sweaters underneath it and still have room for more.  It holds heat in like nobody’s business and it’s almost long enough to be a dress.  It can double as an apron, because there’s no chance of anything getting on the cute clothes underneath.  The only drawback?  It’s ugly.

My husband is inclined to think I’m perfect, but even he said it was ugly.  He questioned why I was always wearing it (implying he wished I wouldn’t).  The sweatshirt goes with everything because it goes with nothing and it truly resembles a wearable tent.

As the cold started to creep around my toes this fall, I vowed to not pull out the ugly sweatshirt.  I thought to myself, “I have cute sweaters, I can just layer them.”  For the last week I’ve been shivering, trying to ignore the voice of the ugly sweatshirt calling to me from my closet.

Today I could resist no longer.  I was cold and something inside me told me I didn’t have to endure shivering all through the day.  Out came the ugly sweatshirt and I was wrapped in warmth.  It’s just as ugly as always… but I’m nice and toasty inside!

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