San Francisco 49ers v Carolina Panthers


Annoying noiseYou know how people say, “There is no such thing as a dumb question”? I guess that’s true. But man, my kids ask some annoying ones.

OK, I’m not the most patient mom ever, so maybe they get under my skin too easy. But, like every day? Do they have to ask the same question every day?

I can’t even sort these by level of annoyance, because they ALL kill me.

What are we doing tonight?

They barely get their legs all the way in the car after school and they throw this one out. The introvert in me wants to scream, “You’ve been DOING stuff all day! Why in the world don’t you just want to go home and sit on the couch?!” They’re kind of scared to ask at this point, but it still doesn’t stop them.

“Mommy…” They squirm for a bit, while I say, “What? WHAT?!” repeatedly, waiting for the conversation to go somewhere.

Finally they quit wiggling and blurt out, “Are we going anywhere tonight?”

“Gahhhh!” is normally how I reply. So they try texting Daddy, hoping he’s more easy to wear down.

What’s for dinner?

I hate this one for two reasons.

First, most of my recipe names mean nothing to them. If I say “Ropa Viaja,” or “Southwest Turkey Sliders,” they don’t even know what I’m talking about. So it’s a pointless question, leaving them with no more information than when they started. Typically I just say, “Meat in sauce with some salad.” And they say, “UGHHGGHHGH.”

Which leads to my second complaint about this question. It’s basically an excuse to fuss about how much they will hate dinner. And since they don’t know what “Carnitas” is, they’re just ASSUMING they’ll hate it. I find it demoralizing. Like, you just assume my food will be bad?

Why are you cleaning? Is someone coming over?

I know I’m not the best housekeeper ever. But is it really that bad? Sometimes I just sweep because there is dust and puppy fur in all of the corners. You don’t have to get ugly about it.

But really, this is more of a painful truth kind of question, because usually someone is coming over. I just work better under pressure, OK? I probably would have done some cleaning, guests or no guests. It’s just happening a lot faster because I only have 2 hours until someone knocks on the door.

I know they’re not going to stop asking, so maybe I need some pre-printed cards with answers to these questions:

  1. NO!
  2. Food.
  3. Just. Don’t.


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San Francisco 49ers v Carolina Panthers

I’m Going to Scream!

When I was growing up, I had a friend who’s mom wouldn’t let us scream. It was the foremost rule of their house. You were not allowed to scream inside. You were not allowed to scream outside. The ONLY reason to scream was if there was an emergency.

One time we were playing in their camper and somehow managed to get the door locked on ourselves. My friend and I looked at each other and said, “This is an emergency… we can scream!” And we milked it for all it was worth. We screamed our lungs out, until our throats hurt. But it was the most amazing fun, because we finally had an excuse to scream. When the mom heard us and let us out of the camper, we got praised for screaming at the correct time.

I don’t remember specific anti-screaming rules at my house, so as a kid, I thought my friend’s mom was super strict. I mean, a ban on screaming was highly restrictive to a child’s playtime. The rule was so serious, the kids got time-out’s for screaming, and if you were playing at their house and screamed (whether you were aware of the rule or not) you got a time out too.  What a mean mom!

But. Now I am a mom and I’ve come to realize something. That lady wasn’t a shrew… she was just trying to preserve her sanity!

My son’s favorite pastime is roaring: like a lion, like a dinosaur, like a monster… it doesn’t really matter the animal/creature, as long as he can roar! My daughter loves to respond by screaming in terror. Sometimes this terror is happy terror and sometimes she’s genuinely frightened, but either way it comes out as screams. And if roaring doesn’t work to get his sister to scream, Isaiah resorts to screaming himself and Leah happily chimes in.

They love screaming so much, they use it like commercial breaks between playing. Isaiah plays Thomas Trains and Leah plays Little People Castle for awhile, and when they both get bored, they start screaming. Isaiah plays legos and Leah plays babies, and when they both get bored, they scream. They scream back and forth at each other during the previews on their movies. They scream while they sit at the table waiting for me to serve the food. They scream in the bathtub. They scream outside. They scream, scream, scream!

And I’m losing my sanity! By the end of they day (or sometimes at the beginning) I’m screaming too… screaming at them to stop. Why, oh why, did I not make a NO SCREAMING rule? While was busy judging my friend’s mom, I should have been learning from her example. She was one smart lady!

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