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How to Be a Church Planter’s Wife

I’m the wife of a church planter. And I feel like I should talk about that a lot more than I do. Because, you know, it’s kind of unique. Like a niche, or something.

But I don’t really have anything profound to say. No great words of admonition to other church planter’s wives. No deep emotional outflow from the process of starting a new church. It’s just our life. It’s normal.

I mean, the past year and a half of this process have been crazy. There are stories, for sure. Amazing times and hard times. And the faithfulness of the Lord threaded through it all. But that would be true, no matter what we were doing in life.

Sometimes, I think we can make too much of the seasons in our lives and the roles we are currently playing. We get all melodramatic about the “challenges” and whatnot. When really, it all comes down to serving Jesus in what He’s called us to do.

I love my husband and I raise my kids. I spend time with ladies in our church and our city. I participate in Bible studies. I interact graciously with people in the community. I pray for my husband, my friends and my city. I do admin stuff for the church. I open up my home once a week for church gatherings. That’s the kind of the stuff I’m called to do right now.

Some of it will change soon, because we’re about to launch a new venue for Destiny Church. But most of what I’m doing would remain the same, even if we weren’t in ministry at all. Just because I’m a Christian.

So what is it like being a church planter’s wife? It’s like being any follower of Christ. I take the opportunities I’m given and use them to advance the Kingdom of God. Just like you do.

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Fighting about Jesus

My husband and I like to learn from a pretty diverse group of Christian leaders. Listening to different movements and schools of thought keeps us well rounded.

But if we put all of our favorite pastors in the same room, a brawl would probably break out. Not between the pastors. No. I mean between their followers, who would freak out that their favorite leader was hanging out with “so and so.” Of course, this is just a theory…

Which kind of makes me think of my kids in the car yesterday. They asked me to play a specific song. “I want the one about baby Jesus!” Leah exclaimed. Which means Misty Edwards’, People Get Ready.

So we were listening to Misty sing:

“He’s not a baby in a manger anymore
He’s not a broken man on a cross
He didn’t stay in the grave
And He’s not staying in heaven forever!”

And my kids started FIGHTING. Leah was singing along, which compelled Isaiah to complain that he couldn’t hear the song. Even though I’d already turned it up so loud that the car next to me wanted to get saved. Leah defended herself, avowing that she was singing “quiet.” And back and forth it went.

I mean, normally I love a good irony, but I really was compelled to intervene, “Guys. We are fighting about listening to a song about Jesus. Do you think that makes Jesus happy?”

So really, guys, when we fight about Jesus, does that make Him happy?

Pre-trib versus post-trib. Eternal security versus losing our salvation. Miracles versus cessationism. Grace versus law. Free will versus sovereignty of God. Alcohol versus no alcohol. Fighting about Jesus. And what He said and what we think He thinks.

Studying the Word to learn the truth about the nature of God is not bad. Personally, I love long drawn out theological conversations… but we’re not supposed to be mean. For reals.

You know how I know? Because Jesus said so.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

Jesus doesn’t want us to fight about Him. He doesn’t want us to use the Bible as a sword to hack each other in pieces. He wants us to show off our love for each other.

So play nice, kids.

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