San Francisco 49ers v Carolina Panthers

Road Rage

There’s a way to drive on my street and a way not to drive. If you do it right, traffic moves along, people stay safe, and everyone gets where they need to go. If you do it wrong, it makes me mad.

My philosophy is, “If you don’t know how to drive here, go home.” Is that so much to ask?

It’s a four lane road. People generally drive in the left lane and use the right lane for parking and going around a left turner. Pretty simple.

However, there are lights above each lane that sometimes change the function of that lane. If people ignore these signals, it causes “confusion and delay,” as Thomas the Train would say. I mean, they’re big glowing lights! In bright colors! It’s really not complicated.

Another thing people ignore is the very informative parking sign. It’s simple. Do not park on the street from 7 AM to 9 AM. Do not park on the street from 4 PM to 6 PM. Why? Because if the traffic lights have changed the left lane into a turning lane and you are parked in the right lane, there is no where to drive. This annoys other drivers (me).

So my new favorite sight is the white “parking patrol” car. My heart fills with glee when I see it stopped behind a car that is still parked on the street at 4:04 PM. If I wasn’t driving myself, I’d rub my hands together and giggle evilly.  That’s what you get for obstructing traffic. Justice is served!

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San Francisco 49ers v Carolina Panthers

Adventures of the Road

Today I decided I wanted to go to the Target in St. Matthew’s. I’d never even seen it, but fully believed in it’s existence, because target.com said it was real.

Now, to appreciate this, you must understand that I’m a hardcore homebody. And I get lost easier than anyone I’ve met to date. I only go places that I’ve already been to at least once. Or that my husband assures me are only one turn away from somewhere I’ve been at least once. That’s the rule.

St. Matthew’s neighborhood isn’t really far from mine, but I’ve gotten so used to my crazy one-way streets and narrow alleys, that the luxury of all those wide roads and turn lanes throws me off. But for some reason, I decided (against all reason) that I should go to THAT Target. The one I’d never even seen.

I think this sudden independence came from having GPS on my phone. GPS that I’ve never used before, mind you. But it was on my phone so I couldn’t REALLY get lost.

The main street with all the shopping on it was easy enough to get to, since I’ve been there at least twice. My first plan was to just drive down the road and spot Target. I mean, it’s a major retailer, so surely it would be in plain sight. But it wasn’t.

I became increasingly concerned that it wasn’t anywhere near where I was. My kids began saying, “Ugh. We’re lost.” They ride with me a lot, so they’re conditioned to expect this. To get them to quit whining at me, I pulled into a Wendy’s parking lot and fired up the GPS (that I’d never used before).

That thing was crazy! It knew where I was and I could tell it where I wanted to be. And the little blue dot showed why I was on completely the wrong street and how I needed to turn around and take one right and one left to reach my heart’s desire.

Seriously, GPS could potentially change my life! Sure, I got lost two more times, but I could tell almost right away that I was lost. What a deal! And I found that Target. So it can be added to the places I’ve been at least once, with bonus points for me being the driver.

This new found not-getting-lost power is kind of heady. I could go anywhere! But I probably won’t.

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