Oh minivan, I beseech you. Do not drive slowly. Do not go 24 in a 35 zone. Though you are rusty and painted an undesirable color, I’m sure you’re still able to drive at the same speed as the rest of us.
When the light is green, do not slow down at an intersection. It makes me almost hit you.
Do you creep through intersections in case another vehicle runs the red light? Because it is highly unlikely and you just make all the drivers behind you mad. Even if someone did run a red, slowing down probably won’t keep you from getting hit. You’ll just be smushed AND hated by the cars following you.
Besides, I can see by your numerous dents, that you have been hit many times before. I’m sure this is because you were enraging the drivers around you.
Slow minivan, you give all minivans a bad name. I see minivans and I think, “Don’t drive behind them. They will be slow.” What about the nice soccer mom, trying to get her kids to practice? You shame her, with your slow driving.
If I ever needed a minivan, I would not buy a minivan. Because minivans drive slow and I do not want to go slow.
